He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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