no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
