But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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