just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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