Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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