At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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