They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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