hotel room ftw
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
