Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize