so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
