So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
