shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
