Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Randomize
