The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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