i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize