just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize