I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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