a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize