It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He felt like a one man threesome
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
