You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
