what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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