please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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