the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
