Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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