yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize