in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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