im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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