Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
