What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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