Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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