Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
