That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
