I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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