I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
