My nipple is on Facebook.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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