So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i came on her dog
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
