so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
