dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
