She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
