I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize