Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
