It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
