got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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