he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
