That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
