I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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