I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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