it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
