Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize