so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
