So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
