Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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