Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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