I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
