Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
