Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize