I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
