I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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