dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
