I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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