Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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