i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
