we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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