Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
vagina is talking i cant
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just blew my weed a kiss
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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