Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
